Positivity & Selfishness

So! It’s been a few months since I last wrote anything, and yes, before anyone asks, I am still diabetic.. (Yeah, someone has actually asked me that before)

It’s not all bad though, it just means I’ve still got a topic to write about! I made the mistake of stopping because of a few little comments that I let get into my head. The more I thought about it though, the more I realised how silly I was being. It’s like anything in life, if you care about what others think, it’ll weigh you down until that’s all you can think of, and you’d never want to do anything ever again. Hell, if I focused on every negative thought I’ve ever had about myself, I would definitely never leave the house again.  So with a few gentle prods, I’m back, sat here trying to think of how to fill some space.

Writing is massively theraputic for me, and so worth it when you get people messaging or commenting on how much they relate to what I’m saying or how much it helps them. Sometimes the most important thing in the world is just not feeling alone. Having someone say “Oh, I thought I was the only one!” can feel like such a weight off, a bit of solace in what can be a very scary, lonely, little world sometimes. Sure, I’m the first to point out that every single case of Diabetes is different, but the premise is the same with all of us. A vital organ stopped working and it turned our lives upside down. (Sounds dramatic that doesn’t it?)

I’ve had a weird few months. A problem I have, (and I’m aware how cliche this sounds so stick with me), but I’m way too nice for my own good sometimes. I care too much about people, sometimes people I don’t even know. (Old people eating on their own in restuarants is a perfect example of this – it kills me). While some people may think that this is a good or sweet quality to possess, I can promise that sometimes it can feel like a nightmare. It’s such a struggle to handle my blood sugars when I’m going through any kind of emotional turmoil, and it turns out it’s just as bad when it’s someone else’s. It’s made me realise that sometimes you have to just shut down and put yourself first. There’s nothing wrong with being a bit selfish at times. Sometimes it feels good to ignore your phone and just have some time to yourself. I have that much going on in my own life, that when you start to allow other people’s life affect you, it can drive you to tipping point. Obviously it’s natural to care about others, but you need to find a balance where it doesn’t eat at you 24/7.

It’s so important to surround yourself with people who are positive, and good to you. Of course not everyone is positive all the time, and anyone who says they are, are probably liars. But people who direct their negativity towards you directly have no place in your life, and for your own sake, don’t put up with it. As daunting as it feels, it might be the most freeing thing ever to cut it off at the source. I’ve said before and I’ll say again, my family are my absolute rock, and even more so over the past year. Never underestimate the importance of having people in your life who know with one look that you aren’t okay when you swear that you are.

Not everyone is going to like me or what I write or how I write and I’m okay with that. You can’t go through life pleasing everyone and I wouldn’t even want to begin to try. .

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